Congratulations!

So you’ve got her number. Well done.

But now are you wondering what you should text her?

Lots of guys will spend hours thinking about sending the first text, wracking their brains for the “perfect” thing to send her…

and then the best they come up with is “hey, what’s up?”

Read on to learn a better way…

Your first text message is making your first impression all over again. You need to show her that you’re that fun, cool guy who she met in person. And most of all, you want her to respond so you can start a conversation over text, and ultimately get her to meet up.

How To Flirt over Text Messages

It’s important when you’re learning how to text girls that you steer clear of the normal, “boring” text messages. If you’re texting a very beautiful girl, she is probably ALREADY getting texts from normal, needy guys, so we have to stand out.

So… what SHOULD you text her?

Text her something fun, flirty, and playful.

One great way to make your texts stand out is to use a nickname.

Here’s an example of a BAD first text message:

“Hey, how is your day going?”

Yuck! If you send this text the day after you meet a girl, you will almost certainly end up in the “lame/boring” category in her mind.

Here’s an example of how to fix that last text… This is an example of a GOOD text message:

• “hey crackerpants! Just what kinda trouble are you getting into today!?”

Why does this text work so much better? How can you learn to text every girl something effective like these messages?

Just follow these three guidelines of an effective first text:

1. It needs to set a fun, playful tone (so that proper text message flirting can ensue)
2. It needs to engage her emotions (so that she becomes even more interested)
3. It needs to compel her to respond (so that she will text you back every time!)

if you ever wonder why she didn’t text you back, it’s probably because you didn’t follow these three rules.

When Should You Text Her After You Get Her Number?

“How soon should I text her” is one of the most common questions that guys have about this stuff.

Instead of waiting three days, one day, whatever — just text her as soon as you get her number. And if you’re hanging out with your friends in a cool place, you don’t have to stop everything — just text her the next morning after you meet her.

Here are a few more examples of good first text messages:

• “hello my little midget ninja!”
• “what r u up to crazyface?”
• “What has a bottom at the top? -[your name]” (the answer to this one is “your legs, silly!”)

All of these are interesting enough that she’s going to want to text you back. So far, so good.

She might text you back something like “who is this?”, but don’t lose your cool. Just keep the flirty texts coming, and send her something sassy like…

• “Your arch-enemy of course…”

DO NOT just tell her “It’s [your name] from [the place you met],” because that is what EVERY OTHER GUY will do. Spike her curiosity and get her to actually want to figure out who you are before you tell her that.

By the way, if you want to read more examples of REAL text conversations and learn the proper mindset to attract women with your text messages, there is a LOT more where this came from in The TXT Book.

Non-verbal cues such as body language, vocal tonality, facial expressions, etc. are the strongest factors of in-person communication. That being said, it is important to use emoticons, acronyms and initialisms (words that describe bodily reactions i.e. ‘lol’, ‘haha’) to set the mood you are trying to communicate. As seen in the examples we will often end statements with:

Haha…lol, or :) LMAO!

Another effective way to communicate emotion and tone is through emoticons. You can spell them out in parenthesis, i.e. :) becomes (smiley face). Any variation of these can be used. By using them your can portray feelings of playfulness & sympathy, or simply let her know that you are in a good mood. Even an overly cocky statement can seem less so when using emoticons.

Until you begin to form a solid emotional connection with her the lighthearted and fun aspects of your personality should constantly be on display.

Your text conversations must keep with the easy going and laid back theme that you have already established. 

There is nothing to be gained from setting a serious tone when texting a girl you’ve just met. If possible, conversations of a serious nature should be done in person or at the very least, during a live phone conversation and definitely only after you have already built a connection with her.

Misinterpreting feelings and tone is far too easy when text messaging.

A sense of humor is consistently ranked as the most important attribute a man can possess. The reason is simple; Humor indicates that you don’t take yourself or the interaction too seriously.

The exact opposite emotion we are trying to provoke is one of seriousness. It is common for a woman to build an attraction solely based on his sense of humor. Even if she initially doesn’t feel an attraction to you, a good sense of humor is so powerful it can make you seem completely irresistible and in turn, make her fall for you.

There is nothing as powerful as a good sense of humor to being a woman’s guard down and make her feel relaxed. When she is laughing she is comfortable and happy, and if you are the one making her laugh, she is going to associate you with those positive feelings.

When she is laughing she is no longer judging or evaluating you. You make her aware that you are fun to be around. Your sense of humor will also put you in a light-hearted mindset and make you take yourself less seriously.

This attribute is one of the most valuable and yet difficult to learn. If your life was already full of amazing & beautiful woman one failed interaction wouldn’t faze you.

You would have enough going on in your life and enough potential love interests that losing one wouldn’t be a big deal. This is the type of mindset that keeps women engaged and drives them crazy.

Also, it is one of the key reasons that 10% of men are getting 90% of the girls. Being willing to walk away if she doesn’t fulfill your expectations and coming across as non-needy is fundamental to your success with women.

This point cannot be stressed enough: you must let go of your attachment to the outcome. With so many opportunities to meet women in your day to day life you can afford to mess up.

The important thing is to learn from it, and then you can move on. The world is a place of endless opportunities and it is time that you saw it this way. Each day you encounter a huge amount of women, many of these women are more than likely attracted to you. It’s time you adopt an abundance mentality.

You don’t always need to reply the instant she texts you. By taking some time to respond you imply that you are a busy guy with a lot going on.

You’ve only just met her and she doesn’t deserve your undivided attention just yet. By making always making yourself available to respond or constantly texting her you are going to make her think that you don’t have anything else going on in your life.

But don’t take this to the extreme and wait hours to respond to every text. It’s important to mix it up, if you wait too long to respond to each of her texts she may decide that you aren’t interested and move on.

The important thing is to establish that you have a full life, even if at the moment that may not be the case.

Note: Stay engaged if you are in an important conversation. Stay engaged until the subject changes or one o you indicates you need to go.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make with a new woman is texting or calling her too much. Her not responding immediately to your messages or answering every call is not an invitation to text or call her again.

By being overly persistent in your communications with her you portray yourself to be needy and desperate which is the easiest way to kill attraction.

How do you know what the right amount of contact is? Here are some key indicators that will help you calibrate.

You may be texting/calling her too much if:

• Her response time is consistently slow

• She doesn’t engage you in conversation or latch onto your hooks

• She consistently gives you one-word/super short replies (‘okay’, ‘sure’, ‘yep’, etc.)

• She doesn’t initiate text/phone calls.

You’re texting/calling her just enough if:

• She initiates text/phone calls

• She responds to text/phone calls quickly

• She readily engages you in conversation and latches onto your hooks

• She answers your questions

• She propels the interaction forward by asking questions of her own.

By keeping these in mind you can keep yourself in check and be aware if you are texting or calling to often. If she seems to stop losing interest take a break from contacting her for a few days, then, try using the principles from the When She Stops Responding – The Re-engaging Text section, or get in touch with her via Facebook using the principles from Using Social Media.

Over the course of the next couple weeks send the occasional text message, if you don’t get a favorable response, it’s time to cut your losses and move on.

Let’s pretend that the girl you are interested in tells you a story about how as little girl she was obsessed with bunnies. She was always begging her mother to take her to the local petting zoo and to buy her a bunny of her own.

Every night she went to bed with her favourite stuffed animal, Pudgy Bunny. Because, of course, you have read our book or gotten expert training from The Art of Charm you made sure to get her number.

Now, when the time comes to text her you have the opportunity to draw from that story which will show that you listened and also evoke those ever important positive emotions all over again. The next step is to add a question or statement that requires more information.

By doing this you set the tone to be light-hearted not only by the way you word it but by including things such as like nicknames, role-playing, teasing, etc.

If you put it all together it would look something like this:

“Hey my little penguin princess, what kind of mischief are you causing today!?

or

“Hey my little penguin princess, I just realized which celebrity you remind me of..Crazy

crazy :)”

Though these messages may seem short and somewhat silly they are extremely effective in bringing about the positive feelings she had when initially telling you the story which renews her attraction to you.

They establish that you are different from the average guy and in turn her responses will fun & playful. Using humor & light-heated messages helps to lower her guard therefore setting the stage for a successful interaction.

By using the first example you can find out her plans for the day, use this information to keep the conversation flowing and maybe even spend some time together. Amazing hat a few lines of well worded text can accomplish, isn’t it? Now, with your new understanding of the components of a successful first text message you can easily start wring your own.

Note: Forget everything you’ve heard about 3-day or any other kind of rules about how long you should wait to make first contact.

The longer you wait, the larger the opportunity for the memory of her attraction to you to fade and larger the chance or her meeting someone else. Strike while the iron is hot.

You should be sending your first text message within hours of getting her number or at the very most the next day.

An example of a fun statement that requires addition information would be: “I just figured out what you would be if you were an animal.”

If she wants to know the answer she has to text you back. The secret is to make the statement about her personally. Nothing makes a person more curious than what someone else thinks about them.

Getting a girl you are interested in to respond to your first text uses the same method you would use to get anyone to respond, by asking a question or making a statement that calls for more information.

Though this may sound easy, it requires some thought to put into practice. Not any statement or question will do, otherwise “Hey what’s up?” would be an ideal first message.

Take a basic and reword it so it becomes fun & playful.

Example:

“What’s up?” becomes “What kind of mischief are you causing today?”

Engaging her emotions is undoubtedly the most effective & commanding element of a first text message. When reading your first few messages the goal is to provoke her into experiencing the same feelings of attraction as she felt during your initial meeting.

An easy way to accomplish this is by referencing a subject from your first conversation together. By doing this you bring her back to that time with you and, in turn, bring up the positive feelings she felt in that moment.

Those positive feeling that you are stirring up are the very basis of her attraction to you (as well as you to her). It isn’t necessary to start over or to reconstruct her positive feeling towards you.

If you begin where you left off your relationship will move along much faster pace.

Note: If you got her number in a situation that didn’t allow for much time to talk or build a connection it is crucial that you put the techniques from Using Social Networking Sites into play to increase attraction & establish comfort.